dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
