There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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