Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
