I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
