christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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