So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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