There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
