we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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