In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
