I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
