Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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