Jerry, you need to find god
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
