I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
