girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
