i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
