it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She even gives head with a lisp.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
