He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
