Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
