She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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