So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
