I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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