i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He kissed a someone with a penis
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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