after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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