idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
