He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how drunk are you?
Several
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
