My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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