I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
