I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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