Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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