i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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