I heard we made out
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
