So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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