We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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