buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
