she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
