Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
