'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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