There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
