I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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