Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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