Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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