You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
