Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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