she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just tell him i said nine months
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
3pm strippers are depressing
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize