Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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