you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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