if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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