So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
