She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
