Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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